A Fairytale
by glockcourage
Summary: A/N: Today, this is what I wrote when I got bored...I almost had a lemon too but in the end I decided to have red tea instead.
1. Fairly Tall Tale

Summary: The writer trying on a Mary Sue and a self insert.

Warning: Mary Sue's and self inserts!

**A Fairlytalltale**

Once upon a time, Mary Sue, a beautiful princess whose smile makes flowers twirl on the background, got lost in the prairie. She sung a soft, little prayer before she went about finding her way back to her castle.

After a quarter hour of skipping cheerfully and optimistic, she came into a hill with a single tree and a lone occupant on top.

Not out of breathe at all; she approached the stranger, sleeping under the shadow of the big Mango tree.

"Oh mister, I'm so glad I found you," Mary Sue enthused.

The mister didn't move, he continued to lie on the ground with his eyes closed; his body supine, one hand propped on top of his chest while the other lay on his side.

Mary Sue stared at the man, seeing his shiny dark hair in a high ponytail squashed on the ground, his body pliant and the expression on his handsome face, restful. "Oh my," Mary Sue whispered to herself, "I finally found my prince charming."

Princess Mary Sue dropped to her knees and was about to kiss the stranger to wake him up and for them to live happily ever after when the wind suddenly perked up.

"Hey, that's my man!" growled a wicked looking woman that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Her blonde hair in the most outrageous four ponytails and the expression on her face was scary. She also gripped the biggest metallic fan Mary Sue had ever seen and threatened with.

However, Mary Sue didn't stammer as she faced her foe. She bravely announced, "I'm Mary Sue."

"I wasn't asking your name," the scary, fan-wielding woman snapped, taking several steps towards Mary Sue and the man that still slumber soundly, folding her fan and seeming about to attack them with the butt of it.

"Oh but I'm Mary Sue so you can't hurt me."

"Says who?"

"Says Chibiver. That's who!"

—o0o—

~4 23 12AF~

A/N: Hehe totally pointless, I know…but it made me laugh.

Temari fl, thanks for the correction!


	2. Happily Ever After

Warning: Yuri (not really)

**Happily Ever After**

Temari circled the princess waiting for an opening.

But the princess stayed down, still kneeling beside Shikamaru's sleeping head, smiling that beatific smile towards Temari.

Temari gnashed her teeth. She needed to wake the lazy ass fast. _"Oi!"_ she growled attempting to do just that.

"He hasn't received my kiss yet," the princess answered. "He will only wake up once our lips met in a true love's first kiss."

"_You snotty princess! I will…"_ Temari raised her big fan again threateningly.

"Oh but you seem to forget Chibiver might write you off if you fight her Mary Sue," Princess Mary Sue argued, voice oozing with self confidence.

Temari stopped on her tracks and mumbled to herself, _"Think Temari! How to fight a Mary Sue?"_

With a defeated sounding sigh, Temari suddenly threw her fan away then she approached the princess.

In a blink of an eye, Temari then grabbed the girl's hand and pulled her up and give her a kiss; a wet one, her tongue sticking into the other girl's mouth.

"There! Chibiver won't kill me now if I spank you!" Temari smirked. "It will be a good plot for her yuri!"

—o0o—

~4 25 12AF~

~8 10 12 U~

A/N: Come to think of it it's not really a self insert…I should be a real OC to be a self insert. Come to think of it I might be the only one laughing…


	3. A Fair Tale Ending

Warning: Mpreg

.

**A Fair Tale Ending**

Shikamaru woke up to the sound of girls moaning. Slowly his lids fluttered and then he couldn't believe the view once he opened his eyes. _"Tch what are you doing?"_ he simply had to ask.

Temari wiped her reddened lips. "Kissing a girl isn't so bad," she answered with a triumphant smirk

While Mary Sue's purple eyes were wide, the twin pools mirroring her amazement. "I feel like…_like a—_"

"_A tramp?"_ Shikamaru continued for the OC.

Temari vigorously shook her head. "She'll never be that. She's Mary Sue, _ass_."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow before shrugging his shoulders in disinterest. "You don't have to answer that so long as I don't have to do what you just did. I don't wanna kiss some guy."

While the princess, scandalized, queried, "You don't know what's a Mary Sue?"

"Yes. I'm a genius but I have a flaw. I don't know what's a Mary Sue_." _Shikamaru grunted_." Satisfied?"_

Suddenly, the wind gusted and billowed Mary's Sue's gown for effect as her wrath was unleashed. She suddenly raised her hands and started to create seals._ "I'm Chibiver's greatest creation and you don't know!"_

"_Whoa!_ You're a nin too?" gasped Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru, aren't you listening she's a Mary Sue!" shouted Temari then she noticed a purple lightning zigzagging towards the male nin. _"Watch out!"_

An orange blur suddenly appeared out of no-where and tossed Shikamaru over his shoulder and dashed away.

The orange blur with his package then entered a time portal that glowed like a huge smoke ring. Time then turned fast, faster than a speed of light.

Shikamaru didn't know what was happening. Everything seemed to happen in a blink of an eye. He saw Naruto, the one who saved him undressed from his blue-orange suit and changed into his new black-orange suit. He saw months went by with the change of season. The sun was shining then the tree leaves fell to the ground then there was snow everywhere.

Shikamaru struggled to get back to the hill with the single mango tree.

Emerging from the time portal, something was obviously different in Shikamaru's appearance.

Temari and Mary Sue's jaws dropped to the ground.

"What happened?" Temari questioned, voice lilting with supressed laughter.

"I don't know. Everything was a blur but I saw Naruto without his suit…"

Temari couldn't stop it. She guffawed, even bending over clutching her stomach.

Shikamaru looked sharply at Temari before clutching his own stomach—his own obviously over-inflated stomach. _"I'm not pregnant. I have a tumour in my abdomen! You should be crying not laughing!"_

Temari wiped the tears from her eyes. Sadly, their cause was mirth and not sadness.

Princess Mary Sue glanced from one to the other. "So this means Temari's my one true love," she proclaimed with surety, her eyes twinkling with happiness. There begun soft music and flowers swirling in the background as her discovery was announced.

"_Temari?"_ Shikamaru's eyes pleaded for help.

Temari, sensing his desperation, scowled defeated, _"Alright. _We'll go pm Chibiver and clarify this._"_

"But Chibiver's gone—" Mary Sue revealed.

"What do you mean Chibiver's gone. _She can't just make me pregnant and leave!"_ Shikamaru yelled, losing his nonchalant in-character demeanour.

Temari gestured for Shikamaru to calm down. "Let's not depend so much on the writer. Let's call on science. You're male, it's not possible."

Mary Sue shook her pretty head. "It's possible here."

"_WHERE THE HELL IS CHIBIVER!" _Shikamaru shouted, highly agitated as he started to feel pain on the underside of his belly; probably the first sign of labour contraction.

"She's not called that anymore," Mary Sue stated brilliantly. "And don't worry I pm her already."

"What did she say?" Shikamaru and Temari enquired simultaneously.

Princess Mary Sue spoke gravely, "GC said she has dealt with it. Shikamaru has liver cancer instead and has about three months to live."

Shikamaru swallowed his own spit.

"I told you, _ass_. Mpreg's better."

—o0o—

~5 4 13AF U~


End file.
